Oh my word. Where to start.
The winter challenge went well. I rode and rode some more. Eric got a proper workout right across the spring. The Roadie, not so much. Those hills in North Cornwall were hideous. A house move, that was on the cards actually happened. I live now, about 20 miles from Lincoln, the flatlands one way, The Wolds the other and it’s brilliant.
The house is great. It’s got a garden and Toffee-dog loves it. He’s asleep on my bed as I type.
I am currently living in the front bedroom & 2n in the back bedroom. We share the living room and the kitchen at the moment. After 11 and a bit years of marriage we have decided to call it a day. Indifference doesn’t even begin to cover it and I cannot be wasting life with someone who barely speaks to me and hasn’t actually noticed that I am a female for around 4 years. I know he’s ill but I cannot keep on like this and we have had the hard discussion and the harder one about who is moving out and it’s not going to be me. 2n can’t afford this place, I can once I find a job again. My caring duties are over, I just cannot carry on like this. I’m not asking for thanks or recognition or anything really. Being spoken to would be nice. Some affection occasionally would be better but that’s never going to happen, he’s admitted as much. Time to call it a day while I’m still young enough to have some fun. I will be ringing the Housing Officer again tomorrow. If I get a job, 2n will lose all his benefit and I’ll be supporting him financially again. After doing this since 2009, I am heartily sick of it and am not doing it again. Sorry if I sound a harsh cow but I cannot keep on keeping on any longer.
On the upside. I’m only about 20 miles off 1700 miles for the year so far. If I ride 38 miles I will go through last year’s mileage. It’s only the beginning of July too. I ride a lot here, it keeps me out of the house. 2n has said that I’m like a damp fire; every time he takes his eyes of me, I go out.
The rides round here are great. Have a gallery to look at.
Ride a bit up the road and there is RAF Coningsby with it’s Spitfires & Hurricanes howling about. I watched the Dakota flying around the other day from my excellent viewpoint of the top of Tattershall Castle. Everyday you can see the Typhoons hurtling across the sky. Good for photos, naturally I haven’t had a camera about my person for the Spitfires, sorry about that. Never mind, have a Dakota on account.
These pictures were taken the day it all changed.
A regular ride out, nothing unusual. I had a ride in my head and stopped briefly to send a text, and there was a chap who has become my ride buddy. We had a couple of rides and a few texts and something in my head went ‘snap’ and I thought ‘wow, I’m having fun’. It’s been a long while since I have had such a laugh.
I sat 2n down and we had that first conversation where I said that I couldn’t do this any more – nothing to do with ride buddy, he’s just a ride buddy. Even I didn’t know that I was going to say anything, it just came out. He didn’t demure, he agreed that we were dead in the water and that he didn’t really want to save the relationship. That’s me told then. A couple of days later we discussed who was moving and decided that he’ll get housed faster and in something without stairs. That’s that then. I am hoping he will move sooner rather than later as it’s a bit awkward to be honest. Nobody can move on until one of us moves. He’s hoping to stay locally so we can walk the dogs together and help each other out with our respective hounds. It will all sort.
Interestingly, my friends have been amazingly supportive. They tell me that I will be fine as a ‘Single Pringle’ and they are probably right.
I shall endeavour to update more regularly now. The rides here are great and I’m getting the miles under my belt again. The 50km ride for July is now logged and done. I did that this afternoon, it’s better than being uncomfortable in the living room.
Chat soon then.